


Why Do We have 10 boxes Of Christmas Lights That DON'T F--ING WORK!?

by joli_camarillo, Patty_Parker60



Series: Christmas 2019 Drabbles (SHONDA-WORLD) [2]
Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor, Sexy Rip, Sexy Vic, Station 19 Christmas 2019 Drabble, They won't light, might be the SOCKET, naughty suggestion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-18 12:37:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21761008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joli_camarillo/pseuds/joli_camarillo, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patty_Parker60/pseuds/Patty_Parker60
Summary: Christmas lights don't work? Perhaps it's the SOCKET...(Inspired by Station19Writer's
Relationships: Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley
Series: Christmas 2019 Drabbles (SHONDA-WORLD) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565137
Comments: 24
Kudos: 21





	1. G-DXXXXIT!!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [julrenda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/julrenda/gifts), [Alynnroe89](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alynnroe89/gifts), [LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesyLovesBathenaAndVicley/gifts), [Ripleysgal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ripleysgal/gifts), [Chloelovesstation_19andwentworth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chloelovesstation_19andwentworth/gifts), [Mangobutterfly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mangobutterfly/gifts), [lovevicley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovevicley/gifts), [Cristyonendun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cristyonendun/gifts), [Morgan616](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Morgan616), [Station19writer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Station19writer/gifts), [CSW1420](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CSW1420/gifts), [BAUProfiler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BAUProfiler/gifts).



> GUIDE TO AUSTRALIAN SLANG
> 
> bugger
> 
> bum nut (testes)
> 
> coit (anus)
> 
> cracking the shit (get angry/make one angry
> 
> If any Aussies see fault in these usages please do say so...We're not here to  
> fuck spiders, y'know!

"OK...THAT'S IT!" This box is kicked, that box is just SLUNG, so that it flies across the room, breaking open.

"SWEETIE...SWEETIE...deep breaths...deeep...breaths...there...no what are you screaming about?"

"These _bugger-y, bum nutting, coit-ing, shit-cracking_ ...!"

"Excuse me, EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME! First: What's with the ACCENT? Second: I didn't understand a word that you said, but it sounded like a lotta bad words."

"Oh..you know that my Grandparents are Australian, and that I spend a Summers with them...when I'm really angry the accent slips  
out sometimes; the words are RUDE Aussie slang...sorry, Eggs. I'm frustrated about these Christmas lights. TEN BOXES full, and not  
one of these strands light up."

"BLOOD PRESSURE, Lover...easy solution: one trip to the Christmas Store, and problem solved....if you're really intent on 'lighting things up', I have a socket that you can plug into." She slides her red, green, and gold striped skirt, along with her panties, down and off in one graceful motion.


	2. G-DXXXXIT!! 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom Hackett, Seattle PD Detective struggles with tangled up  
> Xmas lights

Brian stands back, as his husband mutters under his breath, a hopeless tangle of decorative lights twisting about

his arms, torso, and at his feet. "Having a LAUGH, are You? HAVING A FUCKING LAUGH!? I'll show you, you BISCUIT-ARSED,

COCKED-UP, BLOODY, MANKY..." (Is he talking to the <em> _LIGHTS?_ /em> .)

"BabeBabeBabe! It's fine, It's OK! Take a break, OK? It's just lights." He brings the Englishman out of the storage room and

to the kitchen, and serves him an English lager. Before long, Tom has calmed down, and is once again his usual jovial self.

Brian says: "We can get the whole house lighted, included the tree for this price-save you a fair amount of aggro."

The slip of paper he hands him has an amount printed on it. "Call them", he says, swigging mightily from his lager.

"Sure...now that was a LOTTA BAD WORDS, I'd guess?"

"Some", Tom admits, eyes twinkling.


	3. G-DXXXXIT!! 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One whole side of the house has gone dark (Xmas lights)  
> and now it's Vic's turn to 'go off'
> 
> LANGUAGE ALERT

"Nobody in this flip-gibbertet nation wants to do there cotton-pickin, gee-damned JOB  
anymore!" This is the flood of comical, near-invective Lucas Ripley is met with, coming  
through his front door after a sparring session with Sully. He reckons its due to the un-lighted  
portion of their house; including the lights themselves, the cost of hanging them professionally  
had cost almost $1,000. Now, a few days later, half of the lights have burned-out

"We look like jack-asses!", Victoria rages on. "The Gee-damned FIRE CHIEF OF SEATTLE and his half-assed  
half on one side Christmas lighted house. I tell you, Ripley, I'm more pissed than the asshole President is  
about that perfect, beautiful, not a fucking thing wrong with it corrupt call to Ukraine, and the nerve of  
anyone questioning such magnificence"...(she pauses for breath)...I should start tweeting non-stop,  
mis-spelling every other word, about how, incompetent, stupid, bumbling, treasonous...ah, ah...SHIT!"

"I'll get a refund tomorrow morning!", Lucas breaks in, before she can get up another head of steam.


End file.
